The Tuna Conspiracy

The beach is closed at 10pm.

I've been trying to figure out why a beach closes. I suppose the claim is it will reduce crime rates or lower the cost of patroling the area. But I've started to think that there's another reason.

For a while, I thought that it might be that the sharks can only swim around for so long, and they need a break too. So since people would be disappointed if the went to the beach and didn't get to see a shark, the beach should be closed whenever the sharks can't make an actual appearance. This would, of course, be at night when they need to rest and on major shark holidays (the anniversary of the first showing of Jaws, for example). But since the beach isn't actually closed on major shark holidays, there's probably another reason.

Maybe it's because the waves get tired of lapping on the shore, and want some time to themselves to play UNO. You wouldn't really want to go to the beach if the waves are going to just ignore you the whole time, so again the waves have to get some time of their own to relax. Then again, UNO cards don't shuffle well when wet.

Of coruse, I really think that it's probably fairly simple. The tuna need some time when they're able to hold their super-top-mauve-secret meetings, the ones where they discuss their plans of taking over the world. Since they already have infiltrated and taken over the coast guard, and their mortal enemies, the jellyfish, can't come ashore, it's fairly obvious that that's when and where their meetings can be held.

So when the tuna do take over the world, don't blame it on me. /I/ stayed on the beach until at least a quarter after ten.

Serenity

The sun shining, a gentle breeze floating in off the ocean. It's not too hot out, and either due to a quirk of nature or possibly because I actually remembered sunscreen, I don't have to worry about getting a sunburn. Or maybe because the sun is really close to setting and won't be around long enough for me to worry. Whichever, but probably the latter.

The waves are gently lapping up against the shore, wiping away any footprints that had been there. The water is a little cool, but still comfortable to wade in. At least the handful of seagulls around don't seem to mind it too horribly. There's a crab's shell that's washed ashore, but the crab apparently hasn't had much need of it for a while--the gulls find it somewhat amusing, however.

The soft sound of the water meeting the land is relaxing, and as the sun sets someone starts a bonfire. The moon is just a sliver, but the stars are sparkling, reflecting off the gently moving sea.

That is the perfect day in a nutshell. Or at least so I think when I have a ton of work on my plate. Of course, if I've no work at the moment, a hectic day at the office sometimes seems preferable.

Built to Stand the Test of Time

Today, I went to the beach. I waded in the water, I threw around a frisbee, but most importantly, I built a sandcastle. It's been a while since last I built one, and I was reminded again of how much engineering and thought goes into building a good, "lasting" sandcastle.

Lasting until the tide rises too far, anyway. A proper sandcastle must be built somewhere just a few feet above where the waves can reach at the time of construction, and should be built in such a way that the first dozen or so waves won't tear it down. For my castle today, I did that via the dual-moat method.

As for why the sandcastle must be built at such a location, there are two reasons. First, that is where the best sand for building can be found. If it were built any further inland, sand would have to be hauled up from this part of the beach. That's a lot of work for a structure that, between the dogs, frisbees and marauding feet, ignoring the waves themselves, a structure that won't last for more than a little while anyway. It's best to build it at this location and resign your castle to oblivion in the sea.

The second reason for building at this location is that it makes it a much more interesting and fun structural challenge. It's fairly interesting, in my mind, to try to build a castle that will withstand as many waves as I can. The dual-moat method is decent for the initial breaking waves and for the building phase, but there are other methods to keep the castle standing, even when the tide again begins to rise. Drain holes (or lack thereof), sticks and shells, and appropriate placement and direction are all very important to consider.

My castle today wasn't overly impressive. A walled structure containing a large building, several towers and a couple smaller buildings, mostly interconnected. But as people walked by, even a couple hours after construction was complete, they'd stop and look at it, hoping to see that first wave break over the outer wall.

I was pleased by the family that stood by for quite a while before finally giving up and heading on home. Even if the kid decided he'd try helping waves through the outer moat.