Friday, July 21, 2006

Deranged Danger

I was attacked, walking to work.

I don't know what I did wrong, either. It must have been something I did wrong, though. I wouldn't have been attacked if I'd done whatever it was correctly. You don't get attacked for doing things right. I keep thinking it over, keep trying to remember, and keep coming up short. I still don't know what I did wrong, all I know is that I was attacked on my way to work.

I wasn't really horribly afraid, though. Mostly I was just confused. I didn't realize I was under attack for a block or so, and by the time I knew I should probably protect my head, I also figured it was about time that that stupid bird was going to give up.

By then we were in the middle of the freeway's overpass. There were no plants around, so my thought that maybe I was too close to a nest of baby birds seemed somewhat absurd. Yet, the further I walked away, the closer to my head the crow came on its dive-bombing runs. Swooping low enough that I had to start ducking, he'd land on a lightpost, caw, and then come at me again.

I don't know, I think that he may have just been bored. If he'd really been interested in making me go away, he could have been much more effective. As it was, I was tempted to try to catch him in my backpack. Open it up, and he'd probably fly right on in.

But really, what does one feed a pet crow? And is it a pet covered in my lease?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Guardian of the Grail

Where does it lead? It's a nice path in the middle of the forest, surrounded by some wonderful scenery and a fairly steep drop-off (not pictured). But the vegetation is dense, getting in the way, and an approach forces the question.

Where does it lead?

Perhaps it leads to an enchanted land, inhabated by unicorns and giant three-and-a-half-toed sloths. Perhaps on the other side is the end of a rainbow, with a pot full of gold. Or maybe it's the fountain of youth. There are so many things that could be there. And there isn't even /really/ anything that says that they can't all be there, is there? Why there could be a time-space anomaly just twenty feet away, and any second a knight might come crashing down the path looking for the holy grail. Or maybe I'll see myself, wondering exactly where I'll have been coming from.

There are so many places it could go, so many things it could be. And still I wonder, where does it lead? I know that a couple weeks ago it led to the other side of the hill, but maybe I just approached it from the wrong side. Perhaps it leads to the huge bear, waiting on the other side of the camera.

That's what the knight that came crashing through the forest thought, at least.

Monday, July 10, 2006

One Hot Summer Vacation

My blog posts are backlogging; I meant to write last week, but got distracted. Between work, guests, and me simply being lazy, I didn't find the time to find anything interesting to say. But here I am again with a picture that's worth a thousand words.

That was a lot of firework, up in the sky last Tuesday evening. But as I was asked, what makes the sound of the fireworks? Not the loud *BANG*, as that's a bit too late to enjoy the fullness of the explosion of festivities and colors (not colours, further breaking from British ancestry), but rather that screeching whine that you can hear as the fireworks make themselves become airborne.

Obviously there are two kinds of screeching whines fireworks make. Those that are made by the stationary 'fireworks' as a bunch of bored pyromaniacs sit around waiting for the real show to begin, and those made by actual honest fireworks as they're screaming their way across the sky to their final, spectacular destination. I could also comment on the actual *BANG* itself, but since everyone knows that that's the sound of a firework hitting the color-changing (blue to black) ceiling several hundred feet high, forcing it to end its forward momentum and change into a burst of light, I'll instead focus on the former.

Of these two types of screaming, the first is the easiest to explain. Generally these fireworks for the less pyro-licensed sit and spin, causing wind to blow past a whistling mechanism, creating a loud, annoying scream. Boring, I know.

The other scream, on the real fireworks, is much more interesting and fun, as it's the last sound you hear of the firework's pilot elf before he jumps from the doomed craft. Someone's got to pilot those things so they don't crash into the onlooking crowds, and the pay's pretty good.

It's got to be, though, to convince Santa's workforce to take a few days of break so as to get out and /live/. Well, mostly live, anyway.

In other news, there're several openings for tiny woodworkers stationed in the arctic.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Trapping Tourists

It's that time of year again. Sweltering heat, expensive gas, and crowds at the dinkiest tourist traps that would pack a football stadium. It's that time of year again: roadtrip!

Not that I've been on a roadtrip in ages. Not since driving across the country to start my new job, but that doesn't really count, given that I drove for three days straight and only stopped for the night when my car started to pull over to the side of the road. All on its own. I didn't /want/ to stop, but my car was sleepy! Honest!

So while that didn't truly count as a road trip, it is that time of year. So get ready to open your wallets to that bottomless hole that is the gasoline industry and go see the largest molehill in Montana!

As for myself, I'll probably stay home and save up vacation days while I try to determine what I would really like to go do with them. The largest molehill in Montana's a good thought, but I've been having way too much fun with my camera recently, and it doesn't sound photographic enough to suit my fancy.

Unless it's home to the largest mole in Montana, I suppose.

But even then, it'd simply be much easier to take a trip to the zoo. Or build one out of Lego bricks and pretend that I had to travel thousands of miles paying billions of dollars in entrance fees.

Or I could build it, advertise, and charge the entrance fees myself.

Anyone interested in coming to visit the largest mishmash of building blocks in My Apartment? Anyone know how I can fit a gift shop in my entry-way?