Wednesday, February 21, 2007

They've Got Blinders On

I think they're out to get me. I've thought so for years, and recently I've been seeing yet more proof. Twice, yesterday. Twice, that I noticed. Unknown, how many times they tried to get me and I was too busy to notice. Or too distracted. Or simply too oblivious. But I'm certain of it, I know it for sure. They're out to get me. I think.

Twice yesterday, I was crossing the street. Or, rather, more than twice I was I crossing the street, but twice yesterday, while crossing the street they tried to get me. For as I was crossing the street, twice yesterday did a car swerve across two lanes of traffic to make a right turn, accelerating toward where I'd want to be.

Twice yesterday, cars changed my mind for me.

I'm not really sure why they're out to get me, why the tried to have me be run over. I'm not even really sure who they are. Are they upset with me, for they discovered my plot to take over the world? Or are they simply trying to get back at the tuna and their conspiracy? Do they dislike my plans for visiting the beach, or maybe simply want me to get to pay their unpaid parking tickets. Perhaps they just don't like the way I look.

But I look with my eyes, just like everyone else. So maybe the problem isn't that I should say "just like everyone..but them." But I won't, because then I'd be forced to wonder how they look. And that's just simply not something I want to think about.


Friday, February 02, 2007

A Mouse House

I'm trying to decide where I want to travel on a vacation this year. I could try to take no vacations this year, to be different, but something about visiting somewhere new seems to be calling my name. Which means I've got to figure out where I want to go.

Some places are pretty obviously out. The moon's too far, Atlantis is too expensive, and Roanoak is too lost. Some places are less obviously not going to be considered (Walla Walla, Washington, or my parents' back yard), but still won't occur to me in my selection process. Some places will be too hot, some too crowded. Some are too cold, and some don't have anyone around to collect my admission fee!

Once I've cut out all the places that I can't make it to for some reason, it leaves me with very few choices. I can either go see the biggest molehill in Montana, or possibly the noisiest mouse in Michigan. It's a really tough call. I could try to go see both, but I only have a week. And it takes quite a while to find that mouse.

It'd help if he lived in the molehill.