Boot to the Head

They tell me the dodo is extinct. They tell me they used to be around, but now they're all gone. There are no more. They tell me the dodo was too stupid to live.

I say they're wrong.

How could they expect me to believe that the dodo is too stupid to live. Ok, I admit, anything that would allow itself to be called the dodo would have to be pretty stupid. But what proof do I have that they allowed it too happen? If they're not around anymore, they can't do anything about it, and how do I know that they were called dodos while they lived? I don't, and I highly doubt it.

Being "too stupid to live" is a poor excuse for me never getting the chance of seeing a dodo, too. I know /lots/ of people that I'd put in the "too stupid to live" category, but they haven't been removed yet. There're even laws contrary to natural selection. But where are the laws against killing dodos? There's not a one! So I say it wasn't that the dodo was too stupid to live, I say that mankind feared the dodo and their plot to take over all of the string factories around the world, and shipped them all off to a small colony on Antarctica where they spend their days making shoes for corporate America. That's what I think happened to all the dodos.

So if you see a dodo, stay clear. I'm sure they're a bit miffed at this point, and obviously, they've got to know the proper application of shoes.