It's Automagical!

One of the most important inventions of the modern age are the toilets. 3am, 6 feet of snow, outhouse start to look really bad. Or in the middle of July when it's a hundred and fourty out. And since their invention, there have been a variety of improvements. One of the most fun, of course, being the automatic flush.

It's like magic. Throw something in, wave your hands, chant words if you like, and a journey to the center of the world (or at least the sewer) begins. But with the automatic flush comes a slight problem. Some toilet designers simply weren't thinking and combined it and the toilet lid.

Now this obviously doesn't well work. The lid covers the sensor, so it never flushes itself. But then, someone got the bright idea of putting a sticker on the underside of the toilet lids.

"To activate automatic flush, close lid"

If you have to close the lid to flush the toilet, can it really be considered "automatic"?

I do Believe in Wizards

Say that we're moving at the speed of light... Impossible, of course, if you believe physicists. Which I don't by the way. Physicists don't believe in wizards--a fact that I, being a wizard, find highly insulting. I have taken my revenge, therefore, by refusing to believe in physicists.
Zifnab, _Elven_Star_ by Weis and Hickman

I always wondered, if there are so many wizards in so many stories, why have I yet to meet one in real life? There were only two possibilities that I could see. Either wizards are still living, having learned to hide themselves to keep their abilities from being used by others, similar to superheros keeping their powers secret to protect the people they love. Or they've all died out.

Now, I always hoped that it was the former, that wizards continued to exist. But I never really believed it was true, for in any large-enough group of people, no matter how select or secretive, there will always be a bad apple. There will always be someone that uses their position for personal gain, someone that decides to let the cat out of the bag. And I've not heard of many strange occurrences, seen any fireballs flying through the air. With all that power, someone would want the world to know. So I'm sure that wizards truly don't exist any longer.

While I hoped they were around, I've also always tried to find out what happened to them, why they're gone now, and why I can't find a school to join where I can become a wizard too. (Like no muggles would ever think something really, really odd was going on.) No, I'd always wondered why there were wizards no longer. Until I read the books by Weis and Hickman. Until I realized, wizards are like fairies. Whenever someone doesn't believe, a wizard dies. And none of them physicists believe.

And now, it looks like it may be too late, it appears that wizards are beyond hope. But maybe they're not, maybe there are a few left, but they're dying out quickly. So, please, before they can become extinct, help me. Clap your hands, and say you do believe in wizards! Or join in the battle and refuse to believe in physicists, too.