Open the Hangar...err...Mailbox Door

"Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow" will keep the postman from delivering your mail, so they say. But those can't be the only things that will keep a postman from showing up on your doorstep. Yet, I don't know what the rest of the saying is, so I find that I have to make some slightly less-than-educated guesses.

Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor burning sun or glowing moon; no tidal waves or earthquakes rated less than eight-point-three; no armies of fire ants roaming free, no wind-blowing typhoon; none of these, nor many more, will keep thy mail from thee.

Neither starry skies, nor puddles of mud, nor three-headed attack dogs; no hedge mazes or crop circles or amazingly clean sliding glass doors you can't see; no acorn-wielding squirrels nesting in trees, no number of broken cogs; none of these, nor many more, will keep thy mail from thee.

There is nothing on this earth that will keep thy mail from thee.

Or at least so I thought until earlier this week. But as I was walking down the sidewalk, as I seem to frequently do, I discovered that there're some pretty mundane things that might be able to keep the mail from being delivered. Which made me fairly excited, as I think I found a new calling in life.

I've always wanted to be a teacher, but I thought it would be in some sort of math or science. I now found that I should start my own school, aimed at teaching postal carriers how to properly fold and throw paper airplanes. Quickly. For then, when the tow truck is pulling the broken-down mail car down the road, the mailman can still get his job done. And then, yet one more thing will be added to the list of happenstances that will not prevent your mail from being delivered.

It won't be his fault if you have a complex system of fans set up around your mailbox or drop slot. But if you arrange them properly, your mail will soon be delivered directly to your breakfast table. (Be careful with that pitcher of orange juice!)