Entropic Footgear

I need to get organized.

If you ask my mother, she'd tell you that she's known that for years. Well, I can't really argue, as I've known it too. But with all the picture-uploading I've been doing recently, I've found myself spending a lot of time trying to get things organized.

I think I have finally found a solution to my organizational problems, though. I'll have to start keeping my eyes on the newspaper classifieds, see if I can find a gnome willing to stamp, sort, index, file, and number.

I debated getting a maid, but realized that when she left to go home for the evening, I wouldn't be able to find anything at all until she came back. So I've decided a gnome is going to be the perfect way to keep my life organized. Gnomes never have to go home (or at least the gnome in my neighbor's yard is always there when I glance out my window at 3am, keeping an eye on the lawn), and can keep at a task for years and years without being distracted. That's at least how long it's going to take to get me organized.

But then again, I suppose that going with a gnome might be a slight problem. They ask for quite a large salary, which I'm not sure I can afford. And they don't move all that quickly, meaning it would take years and years to get my organization complete, all through which I would have to keep paying. Nor could I decide that I no longer needed his services partway through, as then I certainly wouldn't know where to find /anything/ in that halfway-sorted mostly intermediate state.

Gnomes taking so long would have lots of problems. But I think the worst is the gnome would move so slowly that in the time required to put away a single book, the entire bookshelf will have fallen. If I'm going to hire an organizational assistant, I suppose I really do need to require they work faster than entropy.

Organizational assistant wanted. Degree in physics and a pair of sneakers required.