This Is Not the Movie You're Looking For

We had a few hours free in the middle of the day, so we decided to catch a matinee. Didn't bother checking the showtimes--it was going to be more effort to call in and ask than to just stop by and see. So to the theater we went.

Plans at five, and most of the movies started around three-thirty. Or one o'clock, but it was already approaching two, so that wouldn't have done much good either. But given the list, there was exactly one movie that fell into our timeframe.

1:40 . . . . . Napoleon

Sure, it was already 1:47, but there were still previews and missing the opening credits isn't generally too bad. 'specially when the only other option is...err... as I said, there was exactly one movie that fell into our timeframe.

"I just saw a preview for Napoleon, it looks really good," she said. I thought I'd seen a preview for it too, but couldn't recall. Nor did I remember if it looked good or not. And we really only had the one option anyway. We even managed to make it in before the previews were done!

Of course, halfway through the opening credits, she leaned over. "Where's the French conqueror?" she was wondering, as cafeteria food graced the screen. "Where's /France/?" And even more than either of those, she wanted to know "where's Brad Pitt?" For this movie wasn't a movie about an old French guy, this movie didn't even star a name I'd already known. This movie certainly wasn't what we were expecting it to be.

Not that I had any preconceived expectations. For all I knew, it might be about a dog.

We did find out that she hadn't actually seen a preview for Napoleon. The French conqueror, or the high school kid with a grandmother that kisses a llama. Her preview didn't even have Brad Pitt in it. So she was just confused.

Being around me, though, I'm not surprised.

And it was an interesting way to spend an afternoon. Sure, there was no French conqueror, and I still don't know if there was even a plot. But there was a llama. And we all need a little more llama.