Soup or Salad? They Avoid Both.

I don't like telephones. They frighten me. So I generally avoid them, although there are a couple of people I'm willing to talk to. But phones still frighten me.

Maybe if I understood better how they worked, I'd be less frightened. But I continue to worry that the tiny lemurs that run through the phone lines delivering messages will get mine wrong, and all of a sudden instead of asking for a date, I'll be asking someone for hate, and she's really much too cute for me to want to be hated. Thank you very much, I'll stick with email. I trust the pixies much more.

Even if I were to assume that the lemurs are perfect-transcribers, the thought is still frightening. How can they get my message across town, much less across the country, and back so quickly? It's not possible, even the most speedy of lemur can't run that quickly! Which of course means that everyone I've ever talked to (via phone, anyway) must be prescient. And I don't like the thought that they know what I'm going to say before I do, 'cause I don't have a clue what I'm going to say before I begin to speak. Again, I trust the pixies much more. They're magical, of course /they/ are able to deliver emails across the country almost instantaneously. Not that they do, it seems to me that they often will take coffee breaks. But when emails travel quickly, I still don't need to worry about people knowing me better than I know myself.

No, I hate phones. I avoid them whenever I can. I'd rather walk across the street than call to have a pizza delivered. I hate phones, and worry that I need to read their instruction book.

I've tried to feed my lemurs, tried to learn to trust them more. But I still don't really know, what do lemurs eat?