Lunch Leftovers

I find, in my greater-than-normal sleep-deprived state, myself wondering about a great many things. And thus, for today's topic. The origin of the napkin. The paper kind, not cloth. That's a seperate question all and in of itself. Whatever it is that that happens to mean.

Really, though, who came up with the idea to use a piece of paper to clean your face of any unwanted residue left after eating a generally cheap and often bland meal? Who was it that, being unable to find anywhere appropriate, such as on a sleeve or the back of a hand, to wipe their face, ended up using a piece of paper? And how many paper cuts did they get in the process?

Was someone running late to class, grabbing a quick bite as they fled, and realizing they didn't have their homework decided to make the 'my dog ate it' excuse more believable by wiping their own drool onto the remains of a ripped corner of paper, thereby attempting to convince their instructor that the dog did in fact find the last bit of paper less palatable? Did they, perhaps, notice that when the paper left their face, the jelly from their PB&J came with it leaving their face as clean as if they had just stepped out of the shower? Did they then completely forget to hand in their homework, fail the class, and thus not graduate, thereby lacking the education required to convince the incredibly expensive eating establishments that paper works, leaving their invention to be the domain of the less-costly locales?

Or were there different circumstances surrounding the invention of the paper napkin? Will the world ever know? What exactly /did/ I eat to cause that big blue smear as I cleaned up after today's meal? And when did I get so messy that I had to start cleaning my lips, my nose, my cheek, and occasionally my elbow?