Mr. Universe

I have proof now. Not that I can show anyone, but I am certain, positive, and absolutely sure that the world revolves around me. I've suspected it for years, but never wanted to really admit that I was quite that massive.

But now I have proof. I can no longer deny it. The world is my oyster, and I am the center of everything.

I was walking to work today, like I normally do. I stopped at the traffic light, like I normally do. But the traffic light was certainly not normal. Blinking red, it had lots of workers scrambling to get it going again. I walked up to the curb, and as I started to wait, the walk in my direction turned on.

I never pushed the button.

The lights changed from blinking red to actual working lights. So, I crossed the street. Like I normally do. And I laughed at the traffic behind me as the workers scrambled to get the lights working properly once I'd completed my crossing.

The world revolves around me.

Someone should have told the guy directing traffic over the weekend, though. The first night when I had to fight traffic leaving the concert was ok; I got to a corner where I wanted to turn, the guy stopped all of the traffic in my way and let me through. The second night, though, was no good. One worker told me that I could simply cut through the traffic again. (He'd apparently received the memo.) But the worker that was supposed to stop the traffic refused. Instead, he directed me to simply follow the concert traffic and get stuck in the jam for half an hour. He most certainly did not get the memo. I'll have to figure out who I need to talk to about that.