The One Squirrel

Driving down the road, many people have had the experience of hitting a squirrel. Several years ago, however, I learned that there's actually only been one squirrel that's ever had the experience of being hit by a car.

There is, in fact, only one squirrel.

The squirrel is a very special animal--most people think he's rather stupid, especially after having just run one down. He'll run back and forth in front of a car, seemingly unable to determine which way to best avoid the behemoth bearing down on him. Seemingly indecisive, he ends up getting hit. However, the squirrel isn't actually being indecisive, he's trying to figure out where best to stand that the car is unable to avoid making roadkill. For you see, there's only one squirrel, but he's very special.

He travels through time.

Most of us do travel through time. Born on the 72nd of Checkuary in 2164, we travel forward, live our lives, and then are done. That's how most creatures tend to work. But not the one squirrel, he can travel both forward _and_ backward in time. He can't push a button to switch his direction. He does need help to switch which direction he's traveling, though.

He looks for a car.

He'll wait by the side of a road whenever he's needing to switch directions again. Minutes, hours, days, he's got all the time he needs. But when he finally sees one coming, he prepares himself. He jumps. He runs around, trying to get hit, trying to stay in the path. And finally it comes. He gets hit. He switches directions.

He's roadkill.

Or he was roadkill.. depending on which way he's going now.

(I'm not really sure where I first heard this theory, or even if I assisted in its design. But I still favor it whenever I see squirrels running on the road.)