Rocks in My Bed

If you could be anything, anything at all, what would you be? There're so many choices out there! I'd have to rule out anything inanimate--even assuming you were able to continue thinking (and given the option of being /anything/ I have to allow the possibility), once you notice that a big truck is going to run over you and break you into a billion trillion pieces, there's nothing you can do about it.

Of course, if you still exist as all billion trillion pieces and are able to think across the billion trillion pieces, that would be kinda' cool. 'cause then you could be in Paris and Rome and Massachusetts (the entire state) all at the same time, and that would just be a ton of fun.

And then, I suppose if inanimate objects are allowed to have abilities they wouldn't normally have, it could be an inanimate object with telekinesis. If the telekinesis could move the object itself around, could it really be considered inanimate anymore? I'd say no, and think that moving is pretty useful, so we get back to my ruling against being an inanimate object.

There is a certain appeal to being something such as a rock, though. I mean, you belong pretty much anywhere--in a garden (a rock garden, anyway), on the road (yay, gravel roads!), at the bottom of the ocean, on the moon, or even as someone's pet. And if you're the latter, you never have to worry about working a single day in your life. You can just sit there on a shelf, and get all you'll ever need. Also, there are many things rocks don't have to worry about--food, clothing, air, the opposite sex. So many worries removed, such a carefree existence. And, you never have to worry about gaining weight! You're pretty much guaranteed that the longer you're around (and that can be a long, long time), the less mass you'll have. Unless you're a stalactite or such, but I'm thinking just a normal ol' limestone.

So I think that the ideal existence would be a telekinetic distributed-thinking rock. So much fun, so few worries. Given the option of being anything, anything at all, that's what I'd be.

..for today anyway. Tomorrow I want to be a giant three-toed sloth.