Darth Vader's [Drunken] Galactic Renaissance, Year 2

Darth was very sad at his troop's showing the year before. While the audience oooh-ed and awww-ed at the synchronized drunken flight patterns, the amount of vinyl collected was pitiful. The next year was certainly going to have better results. The programmers had another year of schooling. And anyway, it couldn't be any worse.

One would hope.

The first year, it had been set in space, ships collecting vinyl. The second year, it was on a planet. Mechs duking it out, beating on each other until one of the two collapsed from the simulated injuries. Or until time ran out. Not that time should ever run out, but just in case, there was a time limit imposed.

Sadly, in this fighting game, there was an optimal strategy. A very simple strategy. A one-line program. "Punch". If all the mech did was stand there and punch, it couldn't lose. If all it did was blindly punch, the enemy could never get near, never deal any damage itself. So it was stupid to move into attacking range, but worthwhile to assume that the opponent might be dump. So combat looked very much like...

*punch* *punch*
*punch* *punch*
*punch* *punch*
*punch* *punch*
*punch* *punch*

Unless, of course, you were working for Darth. See, there was another attack you could do. Another attack that would do more damage to anyone moving within range. Another attack that was much more appropriate for the Renaissance. Well, Darth's Renaissance, anyway. You know, the drunken one. This attack was the "Body Slam", better known as "repeatedly fall flat on your face". So a second year in a row, Darth Vader's Galactic Renaissance gained the self-stated title of "Most likely to be drunken" as combat with Darth's team appeared to be....

*punch* *fall*
*punch* *stand*
*punch* *fall*
*punch* *stand*
*punch* *fall*
*punch* *stand*

Year two was not a moral victory. Year two was, however, a tie for first place.