Oh, By the Way...

I've yet to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It seems like it might be useful, if it actually gave good advice. But I'm guessing that a lot of the good advice is mostly common sense. You know, things like "Be friendly" and "Get to know your doorman". Things that you don't really need to read the book to understand.

Yet, people still buy.

So I've got to write a book myself. I'll be a bazillionare. I'll be able to go on a three-month around-the-world cruise every two days! I'll be able to swim through a vault of gold coins like Uncle Scrooge.

Or at least that's my plan this year. So today I'll start writing my book, "How to Be Smart and Know Everything." I'll use my own life as a blueprint for the book. I'll market it to new college students, they'll all want one so they can be smart and know everything.

Since I'm so smart and I know everything, I find myself realizing that people might claim this plan has a somewhat minor hole in it. That, of course, being that college students are notoriously under-funded. But this is where my true genious comes through, this is where the evidence of me being so smart and knowing everything shines. College students are already paying a gazillion dollars a semester on books. $29.95 to be smart and know everything is quite a bargain then. I'd much rather spend $29.95 to be smart and know everything than a gazillion dollars to know a little bit about a subject, material that will change by the end of the year.

Not only will my book singlehandedly increase the intelligence across the world, but will also greatly reduce post-college debt and improve the standard of living. So, this seems like a wonderful idea.

For the next year. And then I still have plenty of time for many more goals by the time I'm thirty.