Schrodinger's Paperweight

Watching You Can't Take It With You, I found a new use for kittens. While they're a lot of fun to play with and are apparently good for stealing energy, I'd never before thought of using them this way.

Apparently, kittens make good paperweights.

Now, I never thought that something that is as rambunctious as a small kitten, something that's so mobile and playful, would ever be able to sit still long enough to make a decent paperweight. Paperweights are required to just sit there, holding down the papers any time the hint of a breeze comes through, or any time the table is shaken due to fireworks being set off in the basement.

Kittens seldom seem to just sit there. They may nap for a couple of minutes, but then a butterfly flutters around three blocks away, and they're off to see what that small flash of color is. Or thunder will start booming, and they'll run and hide. Or they'll start playing with a friendly speck of dust. I assume it's a speck of dust, anyway.. it might be a ghost, either way, I never really see anything.

But then again, kittens will occasionally just sit there. When you're getting ready to sit down and eat, it's already there in your chair before you. Or when you want to go to bed, it's taking your pillow. Or laundry comes out of the dryer, and you can't do a thing to keep the kitten away. So, yes, there are times that a kitten would be a good paperweight.

The problem is those times are when you want it to move.

Once you want it to be a paperweight, you have to not want it to sit on the papers. Which makes the whole exercise fairly pointless. I say it's easier to just use a box. Then you may not know if there's a kitten inside the box or not, but at least it's holding your papers down.