Paid By the Letter

Sometimes I find myself at a loss for..um..those things that are strings of letters which convey some sort of meaning. Err... Words! And I have recently learned that I'm not the only one. Although I still believe that I'm worse off than most other people are.

But more fun than being unable to recall even the simplest of words is knowing exactly what word you're wanting to use, but being unable to convince yourself that that word really means what you think it means. I will sit and ponder for hours (or at least a dozen seconds) if a 'house' really is that place with four walls, a door, and a chimney with a wisp of smoke, that place in which people live. More than that, then, I ponder why that place is actually called a house. Probably from the Greek or Latin or something, like 95% of the rest of the English language. But where did the Romans pull their words from?

Sadly, you can't seem to open a dictionary and find the actual origin of words. "875 BC, on what would have been October 19th, if the calendar had been around then in its current form of course, Billy Bob was the first person to utter the expression 'Ow!'" But why did he opt to use the 'word' "Ow". Why not "Oh!" or "Whee!" or some other four-letter word I'd rather not mention as I may have young readers today.

And why did his best friend, when he fell over from laughing too hard, why when he hit his head did he use the same word? Why didn't their children, as a form of rebellion, refuse to scream "Ow" and instead shout "Humuhumunukunukuapua'a"?

And how can I get a job making new words? I can flambigate asprogious mellicumunsus with ease!